I hate it here..
Can't wait to move and get out of this hot and hellish state I've been living in for all 18 years of my existence.
I feel so lonely here
I sit here everyday, looking for a job.. waiting for people to answer their phones..
no one ever does.

I need the change like I need oxygen.
I'm going mad.

Took the GED..Man do I feel accomplished.
It was really long.. not hard at all.. but my brain wanted to fall out after it.
I was sitting in there for like 7 hours!
On my lunch break, some creepy black hobo started talking to me.. I gave him my crackers haha

Kyle, my boyfriend of almost 2 years, got his wisdom teeth out like a week ago. It was not fun for me, but it was easier for him.. probably cause he at least got a doctor who knew what he was doing...

I'm looking for a job.. to no avail. Im hoping to get a job at this place called Earth Pets. My friend's mom owns the place and they're both pretty awesome! I hope they will hire me.

Hope everyone is doing well and staying alive :]

I really am in great pain
and you're ignoring me.
Wonderful
I just hope one day you'll understand how bad it hurts
my mouth is the very gates of firey hell.

[link]

Step 1: Fill this in, and as such everyone on your watch list may then tell you you are not a bad artist. This will let you know how splendid you are, that way you can boost your monstrous ego just a smidgeon more.

Step 2: Now that you've got that great ego boost that you needed, you can sit and revel in it, and believe (falsely) that you are so superior to everyone else.

1. [x] When you doodle, you say it's a simple drawing.
2. [x] Always provide excuses such as "Still in development"
3. [ ] Can only create an excuse of "I used a mouse, not a tablet"
4. [ ] You only draw faces.
5. [x] You always draw faces at the same direction.
6. [x] The proportion is awful.
7. [x] Every character looks the same.
8. [ ] Uses different hairstyle to distinguish characters.
9. [ ] Cannot distinguish left and right direction.
10. [x] "Sketch? Who cares about that?"
11. [ ] You only draw sketches.
12. [x] What's a LAYER??? (wait...there was this button...no!!!not this one!!)
13. [ ] You always draw one character.
14. [x] You always draw characters in same angle.
15. [ ] No matter how you draw, it's the same expression.
16. [x] You couldn't draw characters with movement.
17. [x] You barely draw feet. ( Who TOLD YOU!?? )
18. [x] You can't draw figures from high or low angles.
19. [ ] You don't even know the definition of high and low angle drawing.
20. [x] A shitty figure drawing in dynamic pose can be turned into a 4th Dimensional abstract.
21. [x] Same character looks totally different when it is drawn in different angle or direction.
22. [ ] You can't even draw anything other than characters or draw everything except characters.
23. [ ] You can only draw cute characters.
24. [ ] You can only draw handsome characters.
25. [x] Hands are your nightmare.
26. [x] Your character's hands are always hidden behind.
27. [ ] The idea sketch is professional but the actual quality is shitty.
28. [ ] You try to cover up one of the eyes with hair so that you can draw only one eye. (I've done this, but I'm trying not to..)
29. [x] Your works are always asymmetrical.
30. [x] Line art only = Finished piece.
31. [ ] Rough sketch only = Finished piece.
32. [x] You have no anatomical knowledge.
33. [ ] You only draw eyes.
34. [ ] Character's hand and eyes are huge.
35. [x] You're poor in drawing the position of boobs.
36. [x] Your artworks are free from all logic. Awkward anatomy and proportion.
37. [x] You lose confidence when other people's works look great.
38. [ ] You think they are genius when they come up with satisfied quality.
39. [x] You collect other people's works as practice references but you actually collect them as a collection.
40. [x] While drawing, you easily lose patience and go do something else. ( True D: )
41. [ ] Tablet is your god item.
42. [ ] You regain confidence when other people's works look crappier than yours.
43. [x] You are more than willing to draw but you lose the spirit so easily.
44. [x] You completely lose the confidence when you see the works of true genius.
45. [ ] You draw once a month or even once a year.
46. [ ] You get mad when your favorite artists are being lazy.
47. [ ] When you draw hentai art, you end up drawing grotesque horror pictures because their proportion is so fucking awful.
48. [x] You don't even have faith in yourself.
49. [ ] You can't even draw since the beginning.
50. [ ] You realized there are problems and know where to fix but you never do.

Well emotionally at least.

Sorry for not being on lately.
I haven't drawn or done anything really creative in a while, because my mental health has MAJORLY been slacking. Everyday I think "this is it! I'm finally at my lowest and start to pick things up and live again", but apparently I keep surprising myself and get lower. I just want this unhappiness to end so I can draw again, also I'm really unpleasent, a real grump and no one likes to be around me.

When I get better, I want to write a book. I have no idea why, but I have always felt compelled to write. Currently, I cannot because my brain is all in a rut and thinks mainly on how I hate holes and ruts..

Black holes.. rabbit holes.. tire ruts.. holes that you trip on and break your ankle...

and also thinks about killing my father.. but I promise I'm not going all Jim Morrison on ya.

Anyway, life stinks right now.